I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
