I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
