I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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