omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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