yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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