ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
