youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
