It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
