I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
