party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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