It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
