I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
