I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
