we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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