Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
