you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
