I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
