OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my phone needs a breathalizer
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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