I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
