Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
