Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
