if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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