I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i think i just lost a toe
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
