mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
