Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
