To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think people are normalizing furries
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
