so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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