I think my vagina is haunted
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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