I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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