I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize