Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
