And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My balls are so social today.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
