We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
