and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
