ADVERTISEMENT

• (540): View more from Virginia

  The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!

  Fav 21 4556 1694

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?

  Fav 16 4193 1444

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.

  Fav 9 4777 1586

  share tweet
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.

  Fav 13 5885 1558

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard

  Fav 5 1238 2207

  share tweet
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....

  Fav 10 1586 1103

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (206): View more from Washington

  We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.

  Fav 5 1297 1221

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.

  Fav 3 1206 681

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?

  Fav 16 1900 894

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me

  Fav 1 968 664

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary

  Fav 3 548 1153

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?

  Fav 0 805 404

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.

  Fav 2 59 11

  share tweet
  

• (307): View more from Wyoming

  hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.

  (1-307): View more from Wyoming

  no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.

  Fav 0 56 7

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail

  Fav 0 80 5

  share tweet
  

Randomize