i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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