sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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