your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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