I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
