He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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