YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
