Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
