Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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