Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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