Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
