Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
