we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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