I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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