Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
