Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think your dad took our porno
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
